Lips of an Angel
by Monogram
Summary: Mamoru loves her, so much so that he can't allow himself to have her. But she's had enough. She won't let him deny her any longer. A oneshot, very sweet, between Mamoru and Usagi. Very loosely based on Hinder's Lips of an Angel.


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Author's Note: As I was driving tonight, I heard Hinder's "Lips of an Angel" on the radio and I had to get home so I could write! So, as soon as I got home, I did just that. I sat down at my laptop for two-and-a-half hours, and this is the result! I really hope you like it!

P.S.: I know I haven't finished "...Dreams," but I haven't really been getting feedback on it, and I need more to keep writing! So, if you want me to continue it, help me out!!!

Thanks, and I really hope you like it!

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Lips of an Angel...

Monogram

* * *

Laying in the dark, Mamoru found himself unable to sleep once again. He could not get his mind off of _ her _again… Why had he been doing this? How much longer would he be haunted by the vision of _her _face, _her _voice, _her _beautiful smile and spirit? He sighed and turned on his side only to get a view of his girlfriend resting soundly. The sight of her dark hair and tanned skin only made him want to see _her _more. He quickly turned back over to avoid the sight that made him sick.

His girlfriend… The only person with that title should have been _her_. Not that there was anything wrong with Ellie; any guy should be lucky to be with her. But, she was not who he wanted. He wanted _her_, and only _her_.

Why was he constantly thinking about _her_?

When had he become obsessed?

Why couldn't he be with _her_?

When had he fallen in love?

He shook his head and wanted to cry, knowing it could never be. That flaxen beauty deserved more. _She _needed a man who could give _her _everything _she _deserved. He could never do that for _her_. _She _was too young. He was too old. _She _needed someone who could give _her _happiness that an 18 year-old needed. _She _needed to be free from the restraints of an obsessed, boring, old man. _She _didn't need him.

But, by gods, he needed _her…_

And, with that last thought, his phone began to ring quietly in the background. He looked at the soft glow of the alarm clock on his nightstand. Three o'clock in the morning? It must have been important. He looked over at Ellie, still sleeping, and rose from his bed. He crossed the room and closed the door behind him, never once looking back at the girl cracking open one green eye and wondering why he would never truly belong to her…

* * *

He moved to the plush leather couch and sat down, cautiously picking up the receiver. After a short pause, he answered in a questioning voice.

"Hello?"

There was a pause and he wondered if this was some sort of prank call, before he heard a quiet sob…

"Hello?" he repeated. "Who is this?"

Finally, a soft response could be heard, "Mamoru…"

"Usagi…" It was _her _the one who so occupied his dreams, nightmares, and thoughts throughout his days. "Usagi, are you alright?" He repeated when he realized the sadness in _her_ voice.

"Mamoru… I don't know why I called… I just couldn't - I couldn't…" she trailed off.

"Usagi, why are you calling so late? Are you OK? Is something wrong? Are you hurt?" he threw the questions at _her_, terribly worried and curious as to why _she _was calling him at this time.

"Mamoru, I - I'm… I'm sorry I bothered you… Where you asleep? I mean, of course you were, look at the time… I'm sorry I woke-"

"No," he interrupted _her_ quickly, "You didn't wake me. Please tell me what's wrong, Usagi…"

"Nothing… Nothing's wrong. I just… I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh, Usagi… Are you sure you're alright? You sound like you've been crying…"

_She _sniffled slightly on other end, "I'm sorry, I'm sure I woke your girlfriend… I don't know what I was thinking calling you at a time like this…"

He shook his head violently, then remembered that _she _couldn't see him, "Please, don't worry about her. You didn't wake her."

There was a silence and Mamoru simply listened to _her _soft cries. Finally, _she _seemed to settle down some before speaking again.

"I - I don't know why I called… I just - I wanted to hear your voice…"

Mamoru smiled slightly before answering quietly, "It's good to hear your voice. I couldn't sleep…"

"Me neither." She paused. "I couldn't stop thinking of you."

That very statement from _her _took his breath away and he was very glad to have been sitting. "I've been thinking about you all night…"

_She_ choked down another sob before responding, "I love you so much…" _She _said it so quietly, he wasn't really sure if he heard it.

"Usagi, please… Don't say that…" It wasn't what he really wanted to say, but he could never gather the courage to tell _her _what he was feeling.

"Do you love me, Mamoru?" It was a blunt question. It was a simple question. But, why did the simple questions always seem to be the most difficult to answer?

"Usagi, please…"

"Do you love me, Mamoru?" It was more forceful this time, demanding an answer.

How he wished he could find the courage to lie to _her_… But, he never could, and _she_ knew that. "You know I love you, Usagi…"

"Then why can't we be together?" The question was more forceful than he could ever imagine coming from _her. _

"Usagi, please don't ask me that… I could never explain it to you… You could never understand…" The heartbreak he heard in _her_ voice broke his heart.

"Then make me understand!" _She _was screaming now and the pain he heard was enough to make want to cry, to give in to everything _she _could ever want in the world.

"Usagi… I do love you… So much… You're just…"

"Don't you dare say it! Don't you use that excuse with me, Chiba Mamoru! My age is just an excuse! You're afraid… You're so afraid of what we could be together, you just want to give up on us before I ever get the chance to get too close!" While _her _tone had dropped, _she _had never sounded more confident and mature in her statements than _she _did now.

"Usagi, I'm 25 years old. You're 18," he seemed like he was trying to convince himself more than he was _her._

"What does that have to do with anything? I can make my own decisions and I know what I want! I want you, Mamoru! Why can't you accept that?" _She _sounded so sure of what _she _was saying, that _she _almost made him doubt himself.

"I told you, you couldn't understand…"

"I won't let you give up on us, Mamoru…"

He couldn't think of anything that would dissuade her from continuing the argument, so he said the first thing that came to his mind, "I have a girlfriend, Usagi. I care about her."

He regretted it before he even finished the statement.

"You don't want me…" _She _paused, waiting for some response from him and gaining none. "You want her. You don't want me…"

At the pure, unbridled hurt in _her _voice, Mamoru wanted to kill himself. He couldn't say anything, though. If he responded, _she _would know. _She _would know that he couldn't live without _her_, couldn't take a single breath without thinking about _her_, that he wanted to be with _her _this very moment and for the rest of their lives. So he allowed the heartbreaking silence to continue to hang.

"I…" It sounded as if _she_ would continue _her_ rants, but instead, dropped her voice and answered softly, "I hope you're happy with her."

He was about to take back everything he had said, before he heard the dial tone.

He couldn't bring himself to hang up the phone, though.

Instead, he sat in the same spot, thinking about all that he had said, everything he wished he had said, and how much he loved _her._ Finally, he set the receiver back on the cradle, and placed his head in his hands. And for the first time since hearing of his parents' deaths, he sobbed openly.

He cried for the stupidity of his own actions. He cried for all the pain that he had caused _her_.And he cried for the loss of his dream of love and a family of his own. A family that he wanted to create with _her_.

He knew he couldn't go back to bed, not with Ellie sleeping next to him. That was _her _place. It always would be. Instead, he changed quietly, grabbed a jacket, and left his apartment.

Hearing the door slam shut, Ellie shot up in bed. She knew what that sound would mean. No matter how hard she may have tried, how long she may have held on to the shell of the man she had fallen so deeply in love with, she knew it was over. It was over before it even began. She never had truly had him, and now, as she left the apartment soon after, she admitted, she never would.

He belonged to _her_.

* * *

Walking down the dark, empty streets, Mamoru stuffed his hands in pockets and hung his head, keeping to his thoughts. He continued aimlessly down the streets. What was he doing? It was almost 5 o'clock and he had gotten no sleep. He needed to be at work in two hours. He needed to get back to his apartment and get ready…

But what about Ellie? He knew he couldn't face her. While she didn't know anything about _her_, he knew he could never look at her, kiss her… She was only a replacement. A replacement for someone he could never have.

Instead, he continued his walk and found himself in the middle of the park. How did he get here? He didn't even remember walking this far. He sighed to himself and moved to the park bench near the lake and sat, silently, watching the slow movements of the animals and the water in front of him. As he noticed the first peek of the Sun on the lake, he heard the rustling of leaves behind him. He didn't turn around, however. He didn't need to turn around to know who was behind him. It was _her_. It could only ever be _her_.

_She _stopped behind him, he could just barely see _her _out of the corner of his eye.

Gods, was _she _beautiful…

"What are you doing here?" _she _questioned.

"What do you think?" he responded more harshly than he meant to and winced at his tone.

_She _sighed and sat down slowly and cautiously next to him.

He allowed himself one quick glimpse at _her_, only reminding himself of how ethereally beautiful _she_ truly was. The soft wind blew _her _golden waves of hair around _her _face, as _she_ hugged herself to keep out the harshness of the cold. _She _was still in _her _pajamas, he noted, and he wondered how long _she _had been out walking herself. As he continued his glance, he noticed the flush in _her _cheeks and puffiness of _her _perfect, water-like blue eyes. There was a redness in the rims of _her _eyes and he wondered how _she _could possibly make crying so beautiful…

"Gorgeous…" he found himself saying and _her _perfect eyes jumped to his own and he felt himself melt.

"Don't say that, Mamoru… I can't take it…" The tears began again and all he wanted to do was take _her _into his arms, shielding _her _from all the pain _she _ever felt, all the pain he made _her _feel, and all the pain _she _would feel from the harsh world _she _certainly didn't belong in.

But, he never got that far. As they continued to look deeply at each other, _she _began to sob and threw herself into his arms. He was taken aback and it took him a moment to do what he had been dreaming so long of doing. Finally, he placed his arms cautiously around _her_, careful to not let _her_ break in his strong embrace. When he was sure _she _was safe from harm, he placed his chin on the top of _her _soft hair and began to cry with _her_.

After the most heartbreaking minutes of their lives, _she _raised _her _head and looked at him, as he bent his own head down to avoid meeting _her _gaze. Refusing to allow him to hide again, _she _placed two fingers under his chin and forced him to look at _her_.

"Why do you keep denying me, Mamoru? If it's really her, then, I'll let you go. If I know that's what would make you happy, I'll leave you alone, and you can be with her. But, I have to know…"

Finally, Mamoru knew that he could no longer continue to resist everything that he wanted from _her_. "Gods, no, Usagi… Ellie means nothing to me… I love _you_, Usagi. It's always been you."

"Then, tell me what you want from me," _she_ smiled at him in encouragement.

He cupped _her _face in his hands, "I want to be with you, Usagi. I want to be with you for the rest of my life."

_She_ smiled brightly at him and rested _her _forehead against his, "I think I can do that."

And, as they soaked in the feeling of love they emitted, the risen Sun shone around them.

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THE BEGINNING...

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Author's Note: So? What'd you think? Let me know! My ego needs reinforcement! Should I continue it? Should I leave it here? Does it need changes? Tell me!

Until next time...

Monogram


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